What if?
by Carrro
Summary: Life isn't fair, thats something Horatio learned long ago. And this isn't an exception. [HY] Oneshot.


**_A/N: I had some trouble with Past Haunts, and when i have problems with my fictions the results is this. A Yelina/Horatio Oneshot. In this case it's a Songfic, with the song What if, by Kate Winslet. Sorry it takes so long time with chapter three till' Past Haunts, but i'll publish it soon! I promise!  
Anyway - now this is about this Songfic, nothing else. I hope you guys like it! Read and Review and as usual thanks to Lindsay-Rose (Gabi). _**

**_Disclaimer: No, i don't own CSI: Miami, or the song What if, by Kate Winslet, but i do own this story. That's something i guess..._**

* * *

"I don't know what to say…" Yelina whispered in his ear.  
"You'll think of something," he answered.  
They separated and he watched her walk to the plane. His brother stood there waiting for her, and together they walked into the plane. He heard the motors start and the plane left the ground, up in the sky. And there he stood, without doing anything, watching his family leave their home - leave him - in Miami. 

_Here I stand alone  
__With this weight upon my heart  
__And it will not go away  
__In my head I keep on looking back  
__Right back to the start  
__Wondering what it was that made you change _

Oh, what had he done? What had made him let the love of his life leave him alone in Miami, while she was on her way to Brazil? The answer was simple; his proud and always protecting self. Yelina had been in love with Ray, and Horatio had been in love with his Yelina since they met for the first time. Ray and Yelina got married, had a child together, but Horatio's feelings towards Yelina didn't disappear. They were still there, deep inside him, so no one else but he could find them. But then Ray died, and Yelina released that her feelings was stronger to her brother-in-law then they ever had been towards Ray. Yelina had showed him her feelings towards him, but he had kept his distance.

_Well I tried  
__But I had to draw the line  
__And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind _

Hundreds of questions were spinning in both Yelina's and Horatio's minds.

_What if I had never let you go?  
__Would you be the man I used to know?  
__If I'd stayed  
__If you'd tried  
__If we could only turn back time  
__But I guess we'll never know _

No, they would never know, Yelina realized as she sat there in the plane, opposite her husband, with her son beside her.  
"Do you want anything? Wine? Beer? Water?"  
"No thanks, Raymond. I'm fine."  
"Okay… Anything else you want?"  
She didn't answer, her thoughts were somewhere else…  
"Yelina, darling, is there anything you want to tell me?" Raymond asked, starting to feel that something was wrong.  
"No… It's nothing, I'm just so tired." She said and forced a smile on her lips.  
He smiled back to her, raised and placed a kiss on her check.  
"I myself want a beer."

_Many roads to take  
__Some to joy  
__Some to heart-ache  
__Anyone can lose their way  
__And if I said that we could turn it back  
__Right back to the start  
__Would you take the chance and make the change? _

The honest answer was 'no', Horatio knew inside. He would never be able to take his brother's wife away from him. Even if his brother had been "dead" when Horatio had got the chance, he would never have done it. He was too proud. He was too nice. Too caring...

_Do you think how it would have been sometimes?  
__Do you pray that I'd never left your side?  
_

He knew she did. During the flight to Brazil, Horatio had been the only thing she could think of. Raymond Sr. and Jr. had left her be alone, after telling them she needed to sleep. That was a bitter lie. She didn't need anything but to be with Horatio – the only thing she couldn't get.

_What if I had never let you go?  
__Would you be the man I used to know?  
__If I'd stayed  
__If you'd tried  
__If we could only turn back time  
__But I guess we'll never know _

But it wouldn't have worked, Yelina tried to consol herself as she sat there in the plane. That man is married with his work. Even if we would've married each other, it wouldn't have worked. He would've worked seven days a week, and he would never have any time off for his family. But how about Ray, then? It wasn't like he had time over with his family. He wasn't better than his brother. Ray was also married with his job. Work was everything in Ray's life, just like Horatio's…  
But if she was completely honest to herself, she knew it would've been better with Horatio. Both she and Ray Jr. would've felt better.  
But now, that wasn't the case. Raymond was her husband, not Horatio. And there was a chance Raymond had changed, wasn't there? He had been away so long so it was possible his love to his family had grown bigger than she could dream of. Oh, what could she do but wish that Raymond would give her another giant surprise?

_If only we could turn the hands of time  
__If I could take you back, would you still be mine? _

Horatio jumped into his car, and put the key into the keyhole.  
"No…" He said to himself. "This is a dream… This is just a stupid dream…" But even if he said that, he knew this was real. Life isn't fair. That was a thing he had learn long ago. Life isn't fair, and he had accepted it. He had learned to keep his mouth shut, and suffer alone, quietly. His brother had cheated on his wife, and then faked his own death, leaving her alone with a son to raise by herself. And still it was Ray who now was on his way to Brazil, together with Yelina.

Life isn't fair.

_'cos I tried  
__But I had to draw the line  
__And still this question keep on spinning in my mind  
__What if I had never let you go  
__Would you be the man I used to know  
__What if I had never walked away  
__'cos I still love you more than I can say  
__If I'd stayed  
__If you'd tried  
__If we could only turn back time  
__But I guess we'll never know _

_We'll never know… _


End file.
